I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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