I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
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