there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
