I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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