Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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