I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
