i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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