He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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