Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
