its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
