My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
