Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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