YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
