8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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