Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
