never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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