pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
