I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
