fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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