I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
