I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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