just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
