Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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