i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
