I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
