pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
