Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
