Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
