Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
