he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize