I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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