Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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