Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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