I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
