Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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