Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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