I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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