i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
