My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
