I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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