Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
