I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
