I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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