he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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