i think i have two assholes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
