If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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