We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
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Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.