the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.