When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
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I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.