You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me