he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
