Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As shirtless as possible
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
