she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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