at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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