imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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