He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
