I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
