He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
