He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
