Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
