If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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