I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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