i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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