Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
